Something wonderful happened to me Tuesday Night. I finally LET GO!! I cant even describe, at this point, just how good I feel.

Ok so let me start at the beginning.........

Tuesday morning I woke up in a fairly cheerful mood although I was still very tired after going so many weeks without sleepin. Well. I got up and did my usual morning routine and then sat down to read my mail. While I was online I decided to go and check out Jon's page on MySpace and there it was in black and white. I dont know what everything said but I do know the words YOUR NEW GIRL hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldnt believe what I was reading. How could he not tell me?? Ya know??

I immediately had to ask and it was confirmed that he was, indeed, seeing someone. I went through ranges of emotion that day. Some of the time I would cry, some on the time I would get furious at him and some of the time I didnt feel anything at all. I do know one thing though, it was eating my lunch.

Tuesday evening I went to meet with my sponsor to go over my 4th and 5th step and when I was done, I felt like everything had been removed. ALl the pain, hurt and confusion was gone. I prayed when I completed my steps and I asked God to relieve me of the bondage of self and I truly feel God did that for me.

That night, I came home happy. I wasnt even thinking aboutn Jon anymore. When I woke up Wednesday morning I was able to sit down at the PC and tell him that I was happy for him and do you want to know the kicker in all of this??

I really meant it!! I did, I am super happy for him. I never thought in a million years that I would ever get to a place where I could support him being with someone else or even better where I felt like it was his loss not mine.

Iy is the most freeing feeling to let go. I have been stuck for a long time.....Today I am moving forward without regret/////////

Namaste~